We are HOME!!!!

 Just to fill everyone in on the birth of Caleb.  On the morning of Nov. 30th, I saw blood when I wiped myself after going bathroom at 5 am, I remember, or some time close to that.  My heart actually skipped a beat.  I was nervous and excited at the same time.  I was thinking to myself, “Omg, this IT!  This is really happening.”  At that time hubby was still sleeping, and since I haven’t felt any contractions yet, I just decided to let him sleep a bit.  I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself.  I decided I was going to take a shower just in case contraction do start and today is the day I go in and have my baby.  After the shower, I went into my closet, dragged out my half packed hospital bag, and started throwing stuff in there.  I really thought I’d have another week.  Guess not huh? 

Hubby usually gets up around 5:45 every morning, so he called out to me when he didn’t see me in bed when his alarm went off.  I think I had every light in the house on.  Later he told me he didn’t know what the heck was going on, all the lights were on, doors were open (I’m really big on always closing closet doors and bathroom doors.  Our dog drinks from the toilet and likes to sleep on our clothes in the closet if any of it is on the floor.).  He found me sitting on the toilet wiping myself while pushing down a little to see if there’s any more blood.  That was when I told him I think I’m going into labor.  Shortly after at around 6:00am, I started getting really mild contractions.  But things escalated REALLY  fast:

6:00am - Contractions started.  6 - 7 minutes apart.  Lasting 30 seconds.

7:00am - Contractions 5 minutes apart.  Last 45 seconds. 

8:00am - Waiting out the 5 minute apart contractions, that’s when the doctor said to head to the hospital.  But by 8 am.  My contractions were REALLY REALLY REALLY starting to hurt.

8:05am - Headed out towards the hospital.  On the drive over, I was having contractions every 2 minutes, lasting about 30 to 45 seconds.  By that point I couldn’t even talk.  Hubby kept asking me how I felt, and I just kept telling him to SHUT UP!  DO YOU THINK I CAN TELL YOU HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW?!  Man I was pissed!   The whole time I was thinking I’m probably only 2 or 3 centimeters dilated.  I thought, wow, how am I gonna handle the pain as the labor progresses if this is only the beginning.  The weird thing is, it truly was painful, but it was probably bearable.  I was just feeling scared of what’s going to come.  I was scared that I can barely tolerate this pain now, but what is it going to be like once I’m nearing 10 centimeters.  But little did I know, at that time I was already 7 centimeters dilated!

So by the time hubby pulled up to the hospital (8:20am), I was starting to feel pressure down there.  I was thinking I might start delivering in the middle of the lobby.  I told hubby he didn’t have time to park, just leave the car at the front entrance AND GET ME A WHEEL CHAIR.  Thank goodness the chair came quickly.  The nurse asked me if I was about to have the baby now.  And I said it feels like that.  So she said, ok, we don’t have time to check in, we’re going straight into the delivery room.  That’s where my delivery nurse checked me and told me I’m already at 7 cm.  She gave me some papers to sign, which I didn’t even read, I think I just scribbled what I thought is my name, and I went straight into telling her to give me the epidural. 

She told me she had to put me on an IV first and drip at least half a bag.  I was like WHAT?!  But of course, the time came for the epi, the anesthesiologist told me to hold still and whatever happens don’t move.  And this was done with contractions back to back now.  It was so hard to stay still.  I faced hubby, grabbed onto his arms and stayed as still as I could.  I held my breath, and just focused on my baby.  I didn’t move, but my whole body was shaking from trying not to move during each wave of contraction.  After about 20 minutes, the epi finally kicked in.  I was SO relieved.  I can actually have a moment to breathe now.  Now it was 9:00am.  I was feeling really good.  I can at least talk and breathe normally.  I was just cold from the IV and itchy from the epi.  But I didn’t mind.  Little did I know, the nurse stopped the epi at 11:00am.  Around 12:45, I asked her how come I could feel my legs and I’m getting all my sensation back.  She said she stopped the epi at 11:00 so I have 2 hours to get my sensation back and get ready to push at about 1:00pm.  And she was right.  Doctor came in at 1:00 and we started pushing.  The whole pushing process took about an hour before the baby was crowning.  Let me tell you, it was painful!  But knowing the baby is just a few pushes away, I have never in my life felt such motivation to keep going.  Once the head passed, the rest of his body just slipped out.  Seconds later, he was laying on my stomach, with all the gook and everything else.  I didn’t care.  I was in love.  Granted, the pain was still throbbing, but it was the most amazing moment in my life.  I didn’t have to get an episiotomy, there was one small tear that required 1 stitch, so that was good. 

Seb was great.  He stayed by me, gave me support, even though I was pretty mean at times when the pain seemed unbearable.  It was a real gift for us to go through this together; bringing a child into this world.  It's nothing short of magical.

And I have a new respect for Mothers.  I always knew mom’s were amazing and totally selfless.  But now having gone through this process and experiencing first hand what it means to feel, “I would give my life for his”.  It’s the most amazing feeling in the world.  I’m going to love being a mom.

A face I will never get tired of looking at:

I've studied his face over and over again while he's been sleeping...

He did end up having jaundice, so we checked him back in the hospital for 2 days of UV photo treatment.  He's just hanging out in the little warm box.